Here it is, my recapitulation of the 3 day Winter Solstice Spiritual Gathering. The day after the experience I slept for 12 hours in complete darkness and my assemblage point was still being moved non-stop. I was 12 hours in the twilight between sleep and dreaming. It was a state of continuous inner silence. This is very rare. At the time of writing, my assemblage point has been greatly displaced and it feels more fluid and better able to sustain social conditioning.
I feel cleansed beyond what I can describe and am thankful. My energy body, soul and other systems feel as if they have been rebooted. Our galactic brethren have assisted me. What other name could I give them? It is not the Mother but through her grace and her opening of gates that this happened – the contact with superior vast energetic beings who reached deep within my core and “fixed” things. A new channel or pathway in my central nervous system felt as it was installed on the third night. It feels as if I have a new pathway feeding onto the pineal gland at the center of the head, and a new connection to the core of the Earth as well. I can re-enact all of the above in meditation or during my healing sessions with shiatsu.
On the second night Sher said something like “I would like all of you at the same time to search and find the core of the Earth”. Then I asked her “what does it look like?” And she replied that for her it is as a smooth crystal sphere, pale blue in colour. “Link your Heart to the Heart of the Earth, then to the Heart of the Sun, and then to the Heart of the Galaxy, and finally to the Heart of the Universe, and you will live forever. Mother Earth will protect and guide you.” – from “The Mayan Ouroboros” – by Drunvalo Melchizedek. The above sums up the core of my meditation practice and the results of doing the above for a very long time is what gave shape to my experience during the Solstice extended gathering. This is why when Sher gave us the above instructions to seek the core of the Earth I took it very seriously and discovered I could do it. When I did it, the connection was mutual. I connected with the sacred Heart of the Mother, but she also connected with mine. I am very thankful for the experience.
I believe my personal Merkabbah was activated. This is a double tetrahedron I project outside of my physical body, surrounding myself by this perfect geometric shape in a meditation I have engaged in for about 5 years – it’s like a three dimensional Star of David. I say it was activated because my entire being was reduced to a ball of fire, or of light, or Love (those three are indistinguishable) at the heart chakra, and to my delight, I found I could fly or move to, or through, any destination. This happened during the 1st session. Within this unified Heart Chakra and as a ball of Fire/Love/Light I went to each of my three daughters, son and wife and washed them in pure Love, intending as I did, that they know it. Free as it can be then I thought about the Earth wounded at the nuclear plant in Fukushima, Japan. And as soon as the thought appeared it was a command and I then flew to Fukushima. When my little bright light got to destination, the Superior Light (God) came through my little light and amplified it 100,000 fold. During one of her emails Sher had requested that we focus the three days on healing the Earth. The realization came that if we all unite our efforts in this way, we could wake up as a planet, do anything, we could literally cool down the reactors, heal the waters, the fishes, etc. My intention from the first day then was that to heal myself and to heal Mother Earth are one and the same thing. The intention was that there is NO difference between my body and the body of the Earth. This is significant for what happened during the third night.
I am so thankful for my brother and sisters in the light that sustained me during my descent into fear and transformation on that third day. The session started with the “download” I described above. Within 5 songs of the now familiar CD the Mother arrived. It felt as a Tsunami. I sat very quietly and still, while holding on to the command “Love”. An immeasurably powerful being of Light/Love/Atomic Fire appeared before me and to my left; and within the space I was at, eyes closed, I silently told myself the following: “The Mother can do me no harm-Trust!.” The command served as allowance or permission and immediately this being of light began sending powerful pulses of light through my being, and it felt as waves washing the shores of my being. It was then that the “download” happened. A gigantic “energy rod” was inserted from the top down, starting at the left side of the brain, and then spreading through the entire body system as lightning and I felt temporarily paralyzed. After this I lost my ground, my connection with the blue core heart of the Earth.
Sher said I needed to surrender, but I felt surrendering would also mean losing my life. So it became a supremely fine balance between surrendering yet not to the point of losing my life. I was hanging to life by a spider web thread. I knew it could be cut at any time. I was as a new born in a crib, with no thought, no conceptions, no descriptions, except fear to dissolve. My ancestors came to rescue me or to lead me onto the next stage, perhaps, and every time I thought the cord would be cut they appeared as a Star of David at the center of a gate, or a wall. I was ambivalent about this persistent image. It was a symbol talking to me. I began to see my life in reverse, and as a little child afraid to die, as had often been the case. (During the first ever spiritual gathering it was revealed to me through raw grief that my birth mother had passed her fears that I might die to me.)
And I held onto the thread by focusing on the thinnest portion of breath at the nose as our sister had taught us the day before. My whole life appeared to me in reverse order. I was a baby afraid to die. Then I was a 3 year old afraid to die. Then my grandfather would appear, together with disconnected thought or memories from childhood long time ago. I saw a strip of celluloid moving in a square fashion with clown images in each frame. Every time I closed my eyes I would see the clowns, and at times the clowns would be people I had known. The images were mocking “something”. It came to me afterwards that what was being mocked was ego – EGO, in the many forms that it had appeared throughout my life. All of life’s banality was being shown to me.
Sher started to sing and drum softly. With my eyes closed I could now feel a blue hue around us, like a calm body of water after a storm, and deep silence.
It truly felt as if the entire Earth was healed through whatever agonies we had just been through. My previous need to purge was not something that was just mine, but belonged to the whole Earth and it was so huge I felt I would die trying. As per my intention at the outset, “to heal myself and to heal Earth are one and the same thing.” But the whole room came to the rescue to do the task we had to do. Then from the deep silence of this blue lake our brother started to sing. And this time it was Archangel Raphael singing through him, the healing balm. Of course this is a symbol that works for me and someone else might have heard a different voice. But the voice, Nik/Raphael’s voice rose from a Divine place. The best analogy is it was like the calm breeze of the wind over the blue water.
I found my voice then and contrary to inhibitions I knew I had, I begun to sing in vowel tones; each tone releasing and washing my “gut”. I felt my song was one with his. Then it came to me within the song, and in Hebrew, the command to hear “shma” (hear) humans of Earth, The Lord our God, The Lord is One, just as we were one. No difference. The people in the room, and the people on the wider Earth, we had just gone through a birth. Throughout all this Sher never faltered and supported our collective and individual journeys. During the last day I thought she might be affected by our state and I am thankful she never lost her composure and thanks to that the spaaaaaace remained grounded. Sher offered her connection to Pachamama as a safe island for us during the turbulence of the Tsunami. Then Sher opens the floor to sharing expressive art. We all sing the Gyatri mantra, which expresses a command, but it is also a longing, for the Primordial Light to come to Earth.
Then a sister has the idea we should do a group hug. Sher goes in the center first. Then we each take a turn. I cry. It is very moving and the most amazing feeling. We are ONE. My intention had been to ascend with the Earth and become cosmic family firmly linked to the core of the Earth. This is what it felt like. We had become galactic beings and the Galaxy itself had participated in this, our awakening as cosmic beings. Then we stand in a circle with a candle in the center. And our Shaman says to feel the power of the light. We do. Sher says to go deep into the Earth and find her crystalline core. We do. Then we hold hands and pass on “from my heart-to your heart”. Then we lift our hands stretching high up and lastly we end up with our palms facing the ground.
We break and have snacks and then we share. My blessings and thanks to all. My wish for 2014 is that the entire Earth will indeed awaken soon to the beauty of our oneness. I KNOW it is possible. And I am sure the Mother’s purpose is for us to do just that.